FAQ about the Empire
Q: What is the Empire?
A: The Empire will be the ruling party of the world. Although it technically consists of many participants (who willingly joined in the search for greater glory, a search that will be fulfilled), the Empire is really all about one man: the Emperor. He alone will hold all the power (the reason for this is outlined below). If you're interested in joining the Empire, enquire within. If you are truly willing there will be a place for you.
Q: Why are you creating this Empire?
A: To rid the world of squabbling. I figure that if having so many rulers of small individual countries is so inefficient due to war and trade disagreements, then wouldn't one large empire presided over by one man be much better at managing the world? After all, there won't be war after I take over because there'll be no one left to conquer, and any civil unrests will be crushed with an iron fist holding a .50 Smith & Wesson. Also, with one man ruling the world, all decisions will be made promptly and because this man is very intelligent, he will make good decisions. No more wasting time in parliament, congress or whatever backwater collection of idiots arguing about this or that. Things will get done.
Q: What will it be called?
A: A definitive name has not yet been decided. Wang's World sounds alright. World of Wang, the Wayland Empire...But really, if I'm taking over the world a name isn't really necessary is it? Because everyone will be part of the same empire, it won't really matter what it's called.
Q: When will the Empire be complete?
A: The Empire is a work in progress. They say that Rome wasn't built in a day. Well, neither will this Empire. Although, the Empire is superior to the ancient Roman empire in so many ways who knows? Maybe the world really will be taken over in just one day? But as of yet no definitive date of conquest has been set.
Q: How will you take over the world?
A: By any means necessary. Whether it will be through sheer force, unabashed bullying, empty threats or whatever. Being a fan of explosions and the like however, sheer force looks like a good option.
Q: Are there or will there be any positions available in your government?
A: Yes. Join today and you won't suffer tomorrow!
Q: Final question: are you absolutely insane?
A: This is a hard question to answer, and the essay that would undoubtedly accompany such a deep question is beyond the scope of this article. Let's just say that I am not clinically insane, although some may question the sanity in stating that one is simply "clinically" sane, and not other forms of sanity. That said, I do not believe that I am insane, but I suppose depending on who you ask, you may receive differing opinions. The fact that I have been mostly coherent so far would lead one to suspect that I am in fact a sane person in all meanings of the word. Of course, a sane person would not normally have to defend his or her mental state, so perhaps that is a sign that I am in fact not wholly there of mind. Nevertheless, I maintain the fact that I am sane and I do believe that it does not matter, as anyone hell bent on world domination must be in some part, insane. That does not mean that I won't make a good leader. Not that it matters anyway.
A: The Empire will be the ruling party of the world. Although it technically consists of many participants (who willingly joined in the search for greater glory, a search that will be fulfilled), the Empire is really all about one man: the Emperor. He alone will hold all the power (the reason for this is outlined below). If you're interested in joining the Empire, enquire within. If you are truly willing there will be a place for you.
Q: Why are you creating this Empire?
A: To rid the world of squabbling. I figure that if having so many rulers of small individual countries is so inefficient due to war and trade disagreements, then wouldn't one large empire presided over by one man be much better at managing the world? After all, there won't be war after I take over because there'll be no one left to conquer, and any civil unrests will be crushed with an iron fist holding a .50 Smith & Wesson. Also, with one man ruling the world, all decisions will be made promptly and because this man is very intelligent, he will make good decisions. No more wasting time in parliament, congress or whatever backwater collection of idiots arguing about this or that. Things will get done.
Q: What will it be called?
A: A definitive name has not yet been decided. Wang's World sounds alright. World of Wang, the Wayland Empire...But really, if I'm taking over the world a name isn't really necessary is it? Because everyone will be part of the same empire, it won't really matter what it's called.
Q: When will the Empire be complete?
A: The Empire is a work in progress. They say that Rome wasn't built in a day. Well, neither will this Empire. Although, the Empire is superior to the ancient Roman empire in so many ways who knows? Maybe the world really will be taken over in just one day? But as of yet no definitive date of conquest has been set.
Q: How will you take over the world?
A: By any means necessary. Whether it will be through sheer force, unabashed bullying, empty threats or whatever. Being a fan of explosions and the like however, sheer force looks like a good option.
Q: Are there or will there be any positions available in your government?
A: Yes. Join today and you won't suffer tomorrow!
Q: Final question: are you absolutely insane?
A: This is a hard question to answer, and the essay that would undoubtedly accompany such a deep question is beyond the scope of this article. Let's just say that I am not clinically insane, although some may question the sanity in stating that one is simply "clinically" sane, and not other forms of sanity. That said, I do not believe that I am insane, but I suppose depending on who you ask, you may receive differing opinions. The fact that I have been mostly coherent so far would lead one to suspect that I am in fact a sane person in all meanings of the word. Of course, a sane person would not normally have to defend his or her mental state, so perhaps that is a sign that I am in fact not wholly there of mind. Nevertheless, I maintain the fact that I am sane and I do believe that it does not matter, as anyone hell bent on world domination must be in some part, insane. That does not mean that I won't make a good leader. Not that it matters anyway.
posted by
| Monday, January 01, 1990
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Genuflect to your Emperor
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