Planning for world domination

The wheel has been set in motion. Today marks the day in which I start my plan for my ultimate goal: taking over Donut King...I mean the world.

I can't reveal too much at this time, although I can say that my grand, very elaborate scheme involves a peanut. Plus an army of geese. Oh, and the one hundred odd megatons worth of explosives to boot.

Why the geese? Well I thought that would be quite obvious. Geese are vicious, vicious animals. They have no fear, they feel no pain and most of all they love the taste of fresh blood, especially in the morning. If you've ever seen a steel-beaked goose attack a hapless serf you'd know what I'm on about. Plus, geese are easy to keep in line. If some of them are misbehaving you only need to eat a few of them to show the rest you're not fooling around. And they're delicious too, which is a big bonus. No more thing as casualties of war. They'd just become dinner! Or lunch, or even breakfast if you were that keen.

And best of all...NObody suspects the geese!

Mehehehehehehehahahahahahahohohohohohohohuhuhuhu!



...Also I don't have enough followers to form an army of humans. So geese armed with sharpened steel beaks and a gun implant in their anus. Why the anus? Well so I can get my generals to yell to my enemies: "Suck anus bitch!", of course, as any self-respecting general would willingly perform.

I see the parallels to Austin Powers, where Dr Evil wants sharks with lasers on their heads but instead gets mutated seabass...except perhaps my geese won't be as vicious. I don't want any mishaps involving my precious, precious monkeys...I mean henchmen...

Of course, taking over the world by force won't be easy, even armed with an army of rabid geese. There will come a time when I will have to use guile and diplomacy to win over the hearts of those I'm trying to conquer. But, being no good at such things I will have to leave that to my ministers. And if they fail, a beheading will await them. No incompetency will be tolerated in this Empire.

All I need to do is to kill kill kill, and perhaps everyone else will fall in line. And, the world being so uncivil, no one will think to band together to oppose me! It's the perfect plan!