Sports mascots

I don't know what it is with sports teams and really randomly weird mascots, but after I take over the world it is going to stop.

Because I don't know that many international sports teams, I will draw on Australias' as examples. I don't know what these mascots are meant to represent, but it can really confusing. Take for example the Melbourne Demons of the AFL. What are they supposed to do? Be totally evil? Have bad breath (from all that brimstone they eat)? What about the Fremantle Dockers? What is a 'Docker' anyway and why would anyone want to be one? What, are they going to defeat my team by loading and unloading ships? What the?

I can understand mascots that represent strength and all that, like bulls, or any carnivores. But seriously, some of those mascot ideasmen need to be shot. Numerous times. In the 'nads.

I wonder if the intellectual sports, like chess, have mascots. Of course, they would have to fit in the mould of their sport. We could have teams like the Melbourne Ailuropoda Melanoleuca or the Perth Delphinidae. Or how about the Brisbane Panthera Onca, the Sydney Acinonyx Jubatus or the Hobart Falco Peregrinus.

With great ideas like these I can't believe I haven't already been voted world ruler. Or at least received some international prizes!